PorNOgraphy: It Will Take Time
Answer this: if you start reading this book in the morning, then in the evening, you feel the urge and watch pornography again, what will you do? Think you are a loser and it’s just in your nature and you can’t overcome it?
This is where most people fail: if you want to overcome the addiction, you have to understand that it is perfectly normal to have such relapse. Period. All you need to do is make sincere repentance, pick up the book again and start reading.
Those who overcame their addiction after 10 years, after 15 years, after after 17 years, did they just wake up one day and overcame it? No!!! They were struggling all through those 10 years before they eventually got over it.
One of those we have helped personally once told us this amazing story. He had been invited by a small group of people to talk to them about overcoming pornography addiction. Since he had learnt from us (as we will later discuss in this book) that helping others get over their addiction was a good way to help yourself too, he agreed to give the talk.
He said, ‘a few hours before my lecture on pornography, I was home alone, preparing for the talk, and the desire gripped me and I watched it.’
If it were you, what would you do? Have a sad day? Believe you are a loser? Think you are worthless? Call off the lecture?
He did none of those. He said, ‘When i came back to my senses, I chanted some adhkaar, sought Allah’s sincere forgiveness and made a new determination. I opened my notepad and continued my preparation. I took a few minutes to study what had just happened to me and what triggered it, and how I could have avoided it, and I added the points to the talk I was to deliver. I ended up delivering the talk and, by Allah, everyone in the group was wowed. It was as if they had never listened to such great tips. It helped many of them as they later told me, they asked for recordings, and they messaged for more tips, but me, the one who delivered the lecture, did not overcome my addiction until a whole year after the talk. Between that talk and finally overcoming my addiction, I delievered so many other talks to many other groups.’
What is the moral of his story? He understood that overcoming the addiction is a journey that takes time, and he did not allow the little relapses he had make him think of himself as a worthless person, rather, he continued to help others while helping himself too, and despite the fact that he kept returning to it, he pushed on and felt he was making progress, and after more than a year, he eventually won the battle.
This point is very important to your recovery: knowing that it will take time, and there will be series of relapses. It is always that way for those who overcome it, when it happens, do not think your case is special, no! Look for what you did wrong, pick the lessons, make a new determination, and move on. This point will be discussed further in a later chapter. It was only brought forward so that in the course of reading the book and applying the tips, if a relapse happens, you do not lose hope and stop caring altogether…
The passage above is an excerpt from Naas Educators’ upcoming book: A Muslim’s Guide To Dealing With Pornography.
You can join the waitlist here or follow all of our activities here.
Do not forget that on 26th March, 2022, Naas Educators will be hosting a live conversation themed: Dealing With Pornography Addiction. You can join the talk here.
