WHEN SHOULD YOU START TEACHING YOUR CHILD THE QURAN?
I was six or seven years old that year. It was a Sunday afternoon. My brothers were battling their bowls of rice but I was there, sitting by the bedside, reading Alif, Baa, Taa to my Dad in a pool of sweat, tears, and pain. One eye was reading Alif, the other was eyeing the rice. My rice, after all, was hanging on a dangerous thread: I had to read the Arabic letters right to get the food.
My brothers had warned me of the war beforehand: they had told me to keep playing around, for a time was coming when I would cry: they meant no other time than the time I would start learning the Quran.
For your child, when should this time come? When should the war begin? When should you start teaching him the Qur’ān?
The answer is: never! And the answer is: now! How so?
When my youngest brother was 5, about the same age I was when the war began and I started to dread Sundays when Dad would be home to teach me the Qur’ān; but unlike me, when he was 5, he would rush after his elder ones to teach him the Qur’ān whenever they were free, and he would often complain about them not giving enough time to teach him the Qur’ān.
He was 5, he had started to learn the Quran gradually, but for him, it was looking like an enjoyable experience: no wars, no tears, no plate of rice hanging on the thread; in fact, he would sometimes, out of his own will, leave his food plate to go and learn if he saw any of his elder siblings free.
WHAT MADE THE DIFFERENCE?
Something very simple made the difference, and that will lead us to the answer to when the best time is to start teaching your child the Qur’an.
At 5, I was being “forced” to read Alif, Baa, Taa. At 5, my brother, on the other hand, was being told stories about the one who revealed the Quran, and he was asking to be taught the Qur’ān.
THE LESSON
Learning the Quran should be a beautiful experience: this is a book you want to leave as a guide for your child; you do not want the child developing anxiety at the sight of the Mushaf, rather, you want him to have a deep love for the Quran, and to be in awe of those who read it.
This is not achieved by forcing 3,4,5-year-olds to memorize chapters of the Quran, rather, it is achieved by making them learn chapters of the Quran.
THE ANSWER
Most parents today focus on making their children memorize the Quran, rather than focus on making them learn the Quran. That is why we have an abundance of Huffaadh whose parents are not pleased with their characters; they memorized the Quran without having a connection to it.
If we focus so much on memorization, the memorization turns to war, and the child might end up not having the right kind of connection to the Quran.
Because of this, we say, there is never a right age to start a war with your child over the memorization of the Quran.
But learning the Quran and making them feel connected to it? That must start now! whatever the child’s age could be.
You must start to focus on making your children love, understand, and act by the Quran, then you move on to encourage them to memorize; do this and see how easily the memorization would come.
A PERSONAL STORY
I started memorizing seriously when I was 7; it felt like torture then since my supper hung on reading the daily verses. Sometimes I would write the hard parts out on my palms and stylishly check them while reading, sometimes I would use a whole piece of paper and place it in a strategic position.
Of course, you don’t need to ask if I ever tried to retain what I was memorizing: I felt no connection to it, saw no reason to make it stick: the Quran had become a key to my food, and as long as I got the food, it didn’t matter what happened to the verses I memorized.
Needless to say, I spent 7 years memorizing the first half of the Quran, and remembered absolutely nothing of it. At 13 though, I left home to memorize the Quran; it was no longer a burden, it had become a desire. My food was no longer resting on memorization; and, this time, I felt a very deep connection to the Quran.
I finished the other half of the Quran in less than 4 months, and despite the fact that so many years have gone by, the part I memorized with dedication and inner conviction stuck better.
But what’s more? The four months signified a turning point in my life: I dropped a lot of bad habits because I was genuinely connected to what I was memorizing; I saw the Quran as a responsibility I was shouldering, not as a mere book I was memorizing to escape punishment, and that made all the difference.
WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING NOW
You should start teaching your children the Quran from as early as possible, even before they are 2 years old: play the Quran to them, read it while they lie in your arms.
By the time they are 3, start reading the Quran to them like you would bedtime stories: read incidents in the Quran to them, tell them stories about Abu Lahab from the Quran. Teach them what brought about his woes and apply it to the child’s practical life.
Tell the story of Ashaabul Fiil. Tell them that of Yuusuf. Tell them the reward he got for not allowing “a girl to touch him”. Teach them Suuratu-dduhaa; Tell them about the beginning of revelation, then how it seized, then how the Prophet almost lost hope, then how Allah reassured him with the powerful verses of Duhaa. Bring out lessons. Tell them everything in form of stories.
You are not in competition with other parents: your 6-year-old child might not want to memorize the Quran, it’s okay! It’s absolutely okay. What we have never seen is a 4-year-old who is not interested in stories.
If he is not interested in memorizing yet, the right thing to do is not to force: that will make life hard for you both; the first thing to do is to take time out to carefully ingrain in him love for, and a connection to the Quran.
There are more than enough stories in the Quran; every chapter has a story behind it; even Ikhlaas, Falaq, and Naas that seem to be chapters that may not appeal to children have very interesting stories behind them: children like to hear about Djinn, about “Ojuju”, tell them the story about how the Prophet was almost attacked by the demons, (the kind of Ojuju that scares him at night) and how Allah revealed these chapters to him to repel the attacks.
Now tell him you want to teach him the chapters that he can use to chase away all of the things that scare him and see if he would be willing to learn them or not.
But dear parent, forget about memorization, do you yourself know enough about the chapters of the Quran to teach them in a fascinating way?
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