Who Will Scold The Menfolk? Let Us Solve The Problem Of Bad Husbands.
Muslim women are seriously worried and concerned about the next generation of Muslim boys.
“Wife-beaters, emotional abusers, disrespectful, inconsiderate, insensitive and manipulative men” seem to be the picture that flashes across the mind of most young Muslim girls now when they think about men.
Recently, a popular Muslim woman raised a concern about the worrisome trend of men “being left unschooled while women receive all the schooling, scolding, and nurturing, especially regarding marriage.”
She ended her profound observation with the thought-provoking question:
WHO WILL SCOLD THE MENFOLK?
The answer? You!
Yes, you women are the ones to scold the menfolk.
We believe Muslim women should have gone beyond the stage of asking questions at this point.
For a problem that has lingered on for so long, and one that has gone on to affect so many Muslim women and girls, we expect them to be celebrating answers by now, and not entertaining questions.
We do not expect Muslim women to still portray themselves in a powerless and clueless position, after all the power Islam has assigned to them to change the “bad husband” narrative.
Islam is a perfect and balanced religion; it gave men authority over women, then it gave women the responsibility of raising the men and teaching them how to use that authority right from a young age.
Women who go about asking who will scold the menfolk and save the next generation of boys are undermining the power Allah has granted them.
Mothers have so much power at their disposal if they understand the responsibility of motherhood to be beyond bathing and cooking for children; if they understand the responsibility of motherhood to be enough an ambition to dedicate one’s life to.
So How Do We Solve The Problem Of Bad Husbands?
Action, not words!
Nowadays, we’d often find Muslim women celebrating PhDs and glittering careers, but rarely do they celebrate mothers who choose to stay back home to give optimum attention to their children and solve the problem of badly raised boys.
Many women who go about discussing the problem of badly raised men have boys at home, and they have never read a book on how to raise sensitive or caring boys.
They have never learnt anything about raising leaders. They know nothing about raising children to be fearful of Allah.
They have never dedicated time to learning how to influence their boys or nurture them into caring, masculine, pious men.
They have read tens of books on businesses and personal development but do not pay special attention to raising their boys.
That’s even if the boys have not been sent to boarding schools right from their primary school days.
If we keep doing the same old things, we will keep getting the same old results.
The men who became the monsters you’re seeing today were not specially trained to become monsters, they were just raised lackadaisically, the way most of the “freedom — fighting” mothers are raising their boys today too.
Women like the mantra that “if you educate a man, you educate an individual, but if you educate a woman, you educate a nation” but are not ready to live up to it.
This mantra means women are expected to raise families, nurture them and teach them, while men oftentimes do not have the leisure of doing this.
When Will The Problem Of Bad Husbands End?
Marriages in our society will only become sane when women start to use the same vigor with which they say “we need Muslim women doctors” to say “we need fully dedicated Muslim mothers”
Just yesterday, the world’s richest man and arguably the most successful entrepreneur, Elon Musk, wrote, “motherhood is as important as any career.”
Although he is known for saying a lot of jargon, his attestation to the importance of the role of mothers despite his successful entreprenural journey shows that those of our Muslim women who prioritize careers over paying special attention to children are throwing away a golden asset that even the most ‘successful’ people are now recognizing.
When women stand up for themselves, stop pushing blames, understand the power at their disposal, and start to celebrate those who dedicate themselves to solving the problem at hand, that is when the problem of bad husbands will end.
We do not exonerate men from the responsibility of raising children, but women face the consequences of this problem more and are in the best position to solve it.
So when we say that the best sacrifice a woman can make right now for the Ummah is to stay back at home and nurture well-raised children who can build good marriages in the future, this is what we mean!
Naas Educators are a team of teachers, homeschoolers, parents and educators volunteering to raise awareness about the right approach to Muslim parenting, teaching kids and homeschooling.
Follow all of our activities here.
